well i visit you more, so that'd mean you work longer shifts than me, right?
[ more like he comes by when his shift ends to loiter around the arcade until haru's signed out. haru hasn't called makoto out on it yet, so he figures it's fine. ]
[meaning: he's not sure but also somehow thinks makoto works more than him despite that, some weird circuitous thinking that says if makoto can meet him as well it means he's working twice as much? or maybe subconsciously he just appreciates the familiar of going home together?
is that so? well, thank you for working so hard, haru
[ that line of thinking doesn't even make sense, but the latter has him pinned down to a tee. if he can keep up some semblance of normality in tellus, then all the better. ]
[the ellipse is THERE EVEN IF IT'S NOT THERE stop this makoto tachibana honestly just BUY THE GODDAMN TUNA and thinking of it more now, haru would like to swim but he'll go later maybe if he needs to get it out of his system...for now........]
so...i'll be here
[meaning: that's right, right? i should wait...right....he doesn't mind at all. he will just kneel down to pet this other stray that has found him -- gray with golden eyes and a slightly battered right ear]
[ and maybe he an impeccable talent at brushing off haru's abrasiveness like it's inconsequential, he's expedient about buying the tuna, alongside the rest of the groceries, since chances are horribly skewed in the favor of haru padding off toward the municipal gym for a few hours of swimming.
the train ride isn't that long to begin with, but he takes off running as soon as the door opens, startling pedestrians into making a wide swath around him as he settles into a brisk jog, plastic grocery bags in both hands (and some piled into his backpack) when he flits through street blocks until he's close enough to his workplace that he lapses into a lighthearted walking pace.
hopefully, haru isn't making friends with the abandoned cybuddy felines that keep collecting at his workplace ever since that one time his best friend showed up to take haku back home. ]
[the cybuddies remind him of the strays back home, and the fact that no amount of fish bought will really make them the same doesn't escape him; they'll use it either way. but haru copes in the small ways he needs to -- the indirect, almost invisible ways that equate to not having to face anything head-on. rin would criticize, he knows; or suspects, and often wonders as he walks to and from the rail or work or school what became of him. kisumi too. though mostly rin. the gray, gold-eyed creature has that subtle unnatural edge to its movements, indicative of what it really is -- what they are all supposed to be.
rather than say hello he simply looks up. makoto is there, well, almost, and haru dusts his knees off as he stands, blinking at the bag in hand. ]
You didn't have to hurry.
[as ever his tone borderlines on neutral despite the intent, but the subtle presence of something softer is a ripple in the silence. without asking, haru reaches for the bag and tugs: let me.]
[ there's some things they don't talk about home, for one. the animals, for other; it seems like only the plants are real, every else manifested in forms of artificiality. he doesn't mention that, too. and still, haru never begrudges him for anything.
it reminds him that it used to point of heated contention between kisumi and rin — whether all of this was just some glorified simulation meant to keep them marginally content, sated enough not to question a single thing, investigate any further than they should.
makoto doesn't like to think about it. ]
I didn't want to keep you waiting!
[ he smiles even wider, insouciant and wide, when haru reaches for one bag. in response, he hands in the lighter bag in a way that brooks no argument, turning on his heel to lead him back. if haru prefers to walk home instead, that's fine, too. ]
[escapism or just survival, it would be up for debate at any given time if they were different people, if for example they were rin and kisumi. but they aren't and while haru's mind flits fairly often in the direction of disbelief, it is never enough of an active part of his thoughts to pursue it whole-heartedly. sometimes, unable to sleep, he wonders if it even matters, if they are indeed gathered data whether it would matter if he slept ever again or ate or drank but it doesn't matter in the end. haru eats. haru sleeps. haru swims. haru watches his best friend like a hawk both short and long distance and he's not sure what it means when he worries, why it aches more than he thought it should.
when makoto hands him the lighter bag, he notices but doesn't argue, just falling into step beside him. if the ocean was on his other side, this could be home.]
Got stuck in my suit.
[the mascot one that is...but he seems......maybe disturbingly unconcerned, though certainly it takes no close inspection to see how haru's hair plasters to his nape and his scalp alike, a slightly wet brush of his bangs in blue eyes from simply overheating in that stupid outfit and head for an unprecedented window of time. he probably smells, needs a shower, so on and so forth....walking might be better really.]
Yours?
[he'd rather hear about makoto's day, if it comes to that.]
[ the possibility kisumi and rin might've gone missing for probing too deeply for an answer goes unspoken today, too.
afraid of falsified convention and afraid of deviation from the routine, makoto exists in a strangely dispassionate manner, always heading off to school and shift and home with the same placid mildness. it's occurred to him, the nights he can't sleep and briefly regrets not asking if he could camp out on haru's floor for the night with their spare guest cot because he's scared he might wake up and find haru gone like all the others.
it's disheartening. ]
They really should give you a bigger size. Have you told your boss yet? It's getting warmer, so soon it'll be hard for you to be stuck in it all day like that.
[ he takes haru's silence as they trek past the steps leading up to the metro rail station as confirmation they'll be walking home, so he makes a mental note to save enough money for a fan before giving haru a sideways glance. ]
Just the usual. I did get that same customer again today, though. The one I was telling you about yesterday, the one with the sunhat. She always spends so long for the same kind of saltwater taffy she regularly buys, even though I already have some out on display in preparation. It's a little weird ... and sometimes I think she's watching me? But every time I look, she isn't staring at me at all, so maybe it's just my imagination.
[barring child or adult and one guess as to which haru gets, of course. vaguely, haru wonders if the person that makoto refers to in fact really is a person. it's the sort of truly unsettling question that -- again -- he doesn't let himself investigate too closely. call it cowardly, call it evasive, call it whatever; in his own way, haru is replete with the sense of what he's capable of ...and what he's not. so far in their time in tellus, it amounts to simply staying afloat. as they pass the metro rail, haru's eyes flicker sidelong just briefly, alighting on makoto's shoulder. strange to think of his best friend as nothing but data rejoined and formed; startling.
frightening.
for haru, people like rin, people like makoto, these are truths and not to be tampered with.
sometimes when he closes his eyes he's back in iwatobi, the rain pattering down and rin asking them what they'll do after graduation, the silence circling in like slow waves, the pink of the cherry blossoms at odds with the peach-red of the setting sun. most times his eyes are open though, and haru isn't home except for when he's next to the person he knows best in any world or reality.
co-dependency. but if it works, it works.]
Weird.
[he comments and what he is really thinking is: is she human? is she real? are you safe? but these get buried. haru's grip on the bag adjusts.]
You could change jobs.
[severe? not his intention. it's just haru's way: you could ____ instead of _____ -- avoidance. circumvention. so on. so forth. if haru could swim his way around unease or trouble, the world knows he would. well, knew. he doesn't mean to be a bad influence either, but his advice is lacking regardless.]
Are you content with your job? If you aren't, a change might be nice. Is there anything else you want to do?
[ it is essential for both of them to work. they could probably get by on makoto's paycheck alone along as supplemented with their auxiliary student benefits, but he's not really asking about their means of sustenance. in two months, it's the first time he realizes that it's nearing valentine's day as per the calendar hung in their loft. they arrived around christmas with new year's day cursorily ticked off, passed without comment. there wasn't a reason to celebrate then, but he managed to string haru along in a party regardless. even with all three of them (makoto, kisumi, rin) inebriated and trying to deep-six what couldn't be forgotten, haru remained painfully sober. he couldn't have slept that night; he'd been too wired, too conscious, too alive.
for a long while he's silent, walking down the sloping intersection. they pass through the outskirts of the shopping center, proceeding further into the entertainment district. eventually, makoto readjusts his hold on one grocery bag, resettling his grip. ]
She wasn't doing any harm. I wasn't really scared of her, I just felt ... a little sad. I keep thinking she was looking for something — possibly someone — who wasn't there anymore. The person who worked before me, maybe? ... The next time she comes in, do you think I should ask? I don't want to impose.
[ circumlocution for just handful of tiny, fragile words: i didn't know what to say to make it alright.
and it's always like this, that even if makoto finds loopholes and contradictions between what he says and how he reacts, he's always been afraid to say what he really means.
but haru understands, and that's enough. ]
We should take a day off and do something different tomorrow. That'd be fun, right?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text;
[ more like he comes by when his shift ends to loiter around the arcade until haru's signed out. haru hasn't called makoto out on it yet, so he figures it's fine. ]
cans or pounds?
[ he's not even joking. ]
text;
[meaning: he's not sure but also somehow thinks makoto works more than him despite that, some weird circuitous thinking that says if makoto can meet him as well it means he's working twice as much? or maybe subconsciously he just appreciates the familiar of going home together?
possibly...]
cans? unless you think pounds would be better
text;
well, thank you for working so hard, haru
[ that line of thinking doesn't even make sense, but the latter has him pinned down to a tee. if he can keep up some semblance of normality in tellus, then all the better. ]
cans it is!
the discounted or expensive kind?
text;
discounted kind
[the ellipse is THERE EVEN IF IT'S NOT THERE stop this makoto tachibana honestly just BUY THE GODDAMN TUNA and thinking of it more now, haru would like to swim but he'll go later maybe if he needs to get it out of his system...for now........]
so...i'll be here
[meaning: that's right, right? i should wait...right....he doesn't mind at all. he will just kneel down to pet this other stray that has found him -- gray with golden eyes and a slightly battered right ear]
text; --> action;
[ and maybe he an impeccable talent at brushing off haru's abrasiveness like it's inconsequential, he's expedient about buying the tuna, alongside the rest of the groceries, since chances are horribly skewed in the favor of haru padding off toward the municipal gym for a few hours of swimming.
the train ride isn't that long to begin with, but he takes off running as soon as the door opens, startling pedestrians into making a wide swath around him as he settles into a brisk jog, plastic grocery bags in both hands (and some piled into his backpack) when he flits through street blocks until he's close enough to his workplace that he lapses into a lighthearted walking pace.
hopefully, haru isn't making friends with the abandoned cybuddy felines that keep collecting at his workplace ever since that one time his best friend showed up to take haku back home. ]
action;
rather than say hello he simply looks up. makoto is there, well, almost, and haru dusts his knees off as he stands, blinking at the bag in hand. ]
You didn't have to hurry.
[as ever his tone borderlines on neutral despite the intent, but the subtle presence of something softer is a ripple in the silence. without asking, haru reaches for the bag and tugs: let me.]
action;
it reminds him that it used to point of heated contention between kisumi and rin — whether all of this was just some glorified simulation meant to keep them marginally content, sated enough not to question a single thing, investigate any further than they should.
makoto doesn't like to think about it. ]
I didn't want to keep you waiting!
[ he smiles even wider, insouciant and wide, when haru reaches for one bag. in response, he hands in the lighter bag in a way that brooks no argument, turning on his heel to lead him back. if haru prefers to walk home instead, that's fine, too. ]
By the way, how was your day?
[ so maybe it is escapism, after all. ]
action;
when makoto hands him the lighter bag, he notices but doesn't argue, just falling into step beside him. if the ocean was on his other side, this could be home.]
Got stuck in my suit.
[the mascot one that is...but he seems......maybe disturbingly unconcerned, though certainly it takes no close inspection to see how haru's hair plasters to his nape and his scalp alike, a slightly wet brush of his bangs in blue eyes from simply overheating in that stupid outfit and head for an unprecedented window of time. he probably smells, needs a shower, so on and so forth....walking might be better really.]
Yours?
[he'd rather hear about makoto's day, if it comes to that.]
action;
afraid of falsified convention and afraid of deviation from the routine, makoto exists in a strangely dispassionate manner, always heading off to school and shift and home with the same placid mildness. it's occurred to him, the nights he can't sleep and briefly regrets not asking if he could camp out on haru's floor for the night with their spare guest cot because he's scared he might wake up and find haru gone like all the others.
it's disheartening. ]
They really should give you a bigger size. Have you told your boss yet? It's getting warmer, so soon it'll be hard for you to be stuck in it all day like that.
[ he takes haru's silence as they trek past the steps leading up to the metro rail station as confirmation they'll be walking home, so he makes a mental note to save enough money for a fan before giving haru a sideways glance. ]
Just the usual. I did get that same customer again today, though. The one I was telling you about yesterday, the one with the sunhat. She always spends so long for the same kind of saltwater taffy she regularly buys, even though I already have some out on display in preparation. It's a little weird ... and sometimes I think she's watching me? But every time I look, she isn't staring at me at all, so maybe it's just my imagination.
action;
[barring child or adult and one guess as to which haru gets, of course. vaguely, haru wonders if the person that makoto refers to in fact really is a person. it's the sort of truly unsettling question that -- again -- he doesn't let himself investigate too closely. call it cowardly, call it evasive, call it whatever; in his own way, haru is replete with the sense of what he's capable of ...and what he's not. so far in their time in tellus, it amounts to simply staying afloat. as they pass the metro rail, haru's eyes flicker sidelong just briefly, alighting on makoto's shoulder. strange to think of his best friend as nothing but data rejoined and formed; startling.
frightening.
for haru, people like rin, people like makoto, these are truths and not to be tampered with.
sometimes when he closes his eyes he's back in iwatobi, the rain pattering down and rin asking them what they'll do after graduation, the silence circling in like slow waves, the pink of the cherry blossoms at odds with the peach-red of the setting sun. most times his eyes are open though, and haru isn't home except for when he's next to the person he knows best in any world or reality.
co-dependency. but if it works, it works.]
Weird.
[he comments and what he is really thinking is: is she human? is she real? are you safe? but these get buried. haru's grip on the bag adjusts.]
You could change jobs.
[severe? not his intention. it's just haru's way: you could ____ instead of _____ -- avoidance. circumvention. so on. so forth. if haru could swim his way around unease or trouble, the world knows he would. well, knew. he doesn't mean to be a bad influence either, but his advice is lacking regardless.]
action;
[ it is essential for both of them to work. they could probably get by on makoto's paycheck alone along as supplemented with their auxiliary student benefits, but he's not really asking about their means of sustenance. in two months, it's the first time he realizes that it's nearing valentine's day as per the calendar hung in their loft. they arrived around christmas with new year's day cursorily ticked off, passed without comment. there wasn't a reason to celebrate then, but he managed to string haru along in a party regardless. even with all three of them (makoto, kisumi, rin) inebriated and trying to deep-six what couldn't be forgotten, haru remained painfully sober. he couldn't have slept that night; he'd been too wired, too conscious, too alive.
for a long while he's silent, walking down the sloping intersection. they pass through the outskirts of the shopping center, proceeding further into the entertainment district. eventually, makoto readjusts his hold on one grocery bag, resettling his grip. ]
She wasn't doing any harm. I wasn't really scared of her, I just felt ... a little sad. I keep thinking she was looking for something — possibly someone — who wasn't there anymore. The person who worked before me, maybe? ... The next time she comes in, do you think I should ask? I don't want to impose.
[ circumlocution for just handful of tiny, fragile words: i didn't know what to say to make it alright.
and it's always like this, that even if makoto finds loopholes and contradictions between what he says and how he reacts, he's always been afraid to say what he really means.
but haru understands, and that's enough. ]
We should take a day off and do something different tomorrow. That'd be fun, right?